Don't Judge a Book by it's Cover

I saw this posted on Instagram and could totally relate. Over the last few months, I have received so many compliments about how good I look which is always appreciated and nice to hear but at the same time, it makes me wonder if people really realize what I have been through. Sometimes I think people, myself included, look at someone who is young, fit, vibrant and can't imagine that they are fighting cancer or lyme disease or crohn's or whatever the case may be. I am the type of person that tends to downplay things so when I have a bad day or admit to being in pain, it can catch my loved ones off guard. This breast cancer experience has given me such a deeper appreciation for what other people might be going through even though they don't appear to be "sick". What is that old saying? Don't judge a book by it's cover. 

This has especially rang true for me recently as I have finished treatment. My employer has been quick to call and advise that it is time to start thinking about a return to work plan and while I understand their position, it's all happening a little too quick for me. While I have been off, I have kept in touch with co-workers and I know what they are thinking....she looks fine, she should be ready to come back to work soon, it's already been 9 months. The truth is, I do look fine, in fact I have lost 15 pounds and probably look better than I did before cancer but mentally, I'm just not there yet. Getting ready to face co-workers I haven't seen, keeping up my exercise routine and healthy eating habits while sitting in an office for 8 hours a day, not allowing myself to get stressed out by my job or the possibility of cancer returning...all of that just feels like too much right now. So instead of worrying about it, with the remaining time that I have off, I am going to continue looking fabulous and work on getting my mind to feel the same way.