I am 30 years old and was diagnosed with breast cancer, specifically invasive ductal carcinoma. Before my diagnosis, I didn't even know what that meant. Now I have been forced into a reality where I not only know what it means but my doctors appointments and daily thoughts are filled with other previously unfamiliar words like neoadjuvant therapy, metastases, HER2 and triple negative.

I started this blog in hopes that some of the information I share may be helpful to other young women in a similar situation. Rather than posting my day to day experiences, feelings and progress, I plan to share some of the things I have learned along the way. Being dealt this hand in life at 30 years old brings with it some unique issues and questions. Will I ever have kids? How will this affect my relationships with my husband and friends? What is my long term prognosis?

Through this site you may find that my way of dealing with things is a bit different. I want to be educated about my disease and take an active role in my treatment and recovery. I want to understand every part of my pathology report, what it means, and feel confident that my doctors are recommending the best course of action. At each stage in my journey, I have experienced challenges with finding answers to my questions and ensuring that the medical professionals treating me really understand who I am and why my way of dealing with this disease may be unlike other women. My hope is that people will be able to relate to my experiences, learn from them and find some comfort that they are not alone.

Sunday, 13 March 2016

Don't Judge a Book by it's Cover


I saw this posted on Instagram and could totally relate. Over the last few months, I have received so many compliments about how good I look which is always appreciated and nice to hear but at the same time, it makes me wonder if people really realize what I have been through. Sometimes I think people, myself included, look at someone who is young, fit, vibrant and can't imagine that they are fighting cancer or lyme disease or crohn's or whatever the case may be. I am the type of person that tends to downplay things so when I have a bad day or admit to being in pain, it can catch my loved ones off guard. This breast cancer experience has given me such a deeper appreciation for what other people might be going through even though they don't appear to be "sick". What is that old saying? Don't judge a book by it's cover. 

 This has especially rang true for me recently as I have finished treatment. My employer has been quick to call and advise that it is time to start thinking about a return to work plan and while I understand their position, it's all happening a little too quick for me. While I have been off, I have kept in touch with co-workers and I know what they are thinking....she looks fine, she should be ready to come back to work soon, it's already been 9 months. The truth is, I do look fine, in fact I have lost 15 pounds and probably look better than I did before cancer but mentally, I'm just not there yet. Getting ready to face co-workers I haven't seen, keeping up my exercise routine and healthy eating habits while sitting in an office for 8 hours a day, not allowing myself to get stressed out by my job or the possibility of cancer returning...all of that just feels like too much right now. So instead of worrying about it, with the remaining time that I have off, I am going to continue looking fabulous and work on getting my mind to feel the same way.
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